Pregnant Woman Blocking Sister From Baby Shower Over Niece's Name Backed

Aug 06, 2023

The internet has backed a pregnant woman who is refusing to invite her sister to her baby shower despite pressure from her family after she stole her baby's name.

In a post shared on Reddit on Monday, under the username u/Famous-Throaway-922, the soon-to-be-mom explained that after having a really hard time conceiving, she finally got pregnant a few years ago and chose two possible baby names for her unborn child: "Violet" for a girl, and "Carson" for a boy. But unfortunately, she had a miscarriage and lost the baby.

"Then we experienced two more miscarriages (both in the first trimester), and went through a couple more rounds of failed IVF. It was a very difficult and traumatic time for us," she added.

Miscarriage during the first 20 weeks of pregnancy is quite common. It is estimated that as many as 26 percent of all pregnancies end in miscarriage and up to 10 percent of clinically recognized pregnancies, according to a study published in the National Library of Medicine.

Last year, the poster's sister announced that she was pregnant over the winter holidays, and while the poster was initially happy for her sister, the joy soon turned into resentment after she learned the names her sister decided on for her baby, which were the same names she had chosen before experiencing her first miscarriage.

She wrote: "I took her aside and told her that I was very happy for her pregnancy, but hurt and confused that she would choose our baby names, especially with everything we've been through. And she basically said, 'Don't try to pull the miscarriage card on me, you can't call dibs on a name.'

"I tried talking to her a couple more times about it, but each time she'd say things like 'you might never have kids, you can't just keep those names in reserve forever,' and was just so hurtful."

The poster stopped bringing it up "for the sake of keeping the peace," and after a few months her sister had told their parents that she wasn't going to use either of those names, but fast forward to a couple of months ago she gave birth to a baby girl whom she named "Violetta Karsyn."

The poster added that her sister has always been "competitive and attention seeking," and growing up she always felt the need to outshine her, even on special occasions like her birthday or graduation, but this is the most hurtful thing she's done to her.

Recently the poster found out that she's pregnant again, and to celebrate this joyful occasion, her family is throwing her a baby shower. However, her mom is calling her an a****** for refusing to invite her sister.

"At this point, it's not even about the name to me anymore. It's the malicious comments, the lack of compassion, and the overall pettiness," she added.

Psychiatrist Carole Lieberman told Newsweek that the poster is definitely right to not invite her sister to her baby shower because she deserves a happy celebration, free of negativity and jealousy.

She said: "Clearly, the sister has been jealous of the poster for a long time. Her theft of the baby names was her way of taking something from the poster to try to make up for things the sister was jealous of since childhood."

The post quickly went viral on social media, receiving over 7,200 upvotes and 1,700 comments so far on the SubReddit Am I The A******.

One user, Allaboutbird, commented: "[Not The A******]. I'm usually on team 'you can't call dibs on a name' but the fact that she chose BOTH names you had picked and is completely dismissive of the pain caused by a miscarriage makes it seem like this is more about hurting you than choosing a name she really likes."

And DuckDuckBangBang said: "The fact that she used the boy's name as a middle name for her daughter shows it was 100 percent vindictive."

Dittoheadforever added: "You're [Not The A******]. Sounds like your mom is in some denial about how her other daughter has behaved all her life. Your mom doesn't see the problem? No, it's not just about the name. It's about narcissistic egotism, lies, and mocking your tragedies."

Newsweek reached out to u/Famous-Throaway-922 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.